Even The Blackest of Hearts
by jayfeathergal
Summary: Beeechpaw, an apprentice of ThunderClan, just doesn't understand. First of all, her father died. Strike one. Most of her clan mates don't understand, or don't care. Strike two. Any guesses for strike three? You got it! -a relationship with a bloodthirsty killer.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

Love is like flying. Your heart pounds as you gasp for air when he looks at you. Just a single touch can leave your skin tingling. A simple moment when your eyes meet, is like dive bombing and plummeting through the sky. You would leave everything behind you, your friends, family, even your life, if he asked you to. _And then you'd be together forever..._

Right.

I'm sure this isn't anything like that, so, sorry if that's what you were hoping for. I'm Beechwhisker, another proud she-cat of ThunderClan, you know, always ready to defend my clanmates with my life and all that. It's not that I don't follow the warrior code, but when your clan leader murders the love of your life, it's not easy getting on.

* * *

><p>Chapter 1<p>

"Beechpaw, get up! We're hunting!"

I sighed, already awake. All night I'd been rolling over and over in my nest, trying to sleep, but to no avail. My bones ached from clearing the elder's bedding all day yesterday. I hate apprentice duties.

"Coming." I grumbled, not caring if my mentor, Bloodfur, heard me. My nest was shredded and bits of moss were scattered across my moon-grey pelt, so I sat and washed, taking my time. Bloodfur hated that. Once I finished, I left the apprentices den and padded into the camp clearing, into the intense heat of Greenleaf.

"Took your time did you?" Bloodfur's voice almost startled me, but I'm not scared too easily, so I coated my voice with sarcasm and quickly retorted, "Of course not Bloodfur! I just woke up, and I wouldn't keep you waiting! I'm soooo sorry!" I beamed at him, hoping the ever-so-clear message would get through.

"Don't talk to me like that, or you'll be cleaning out the apprentices' bedding too!" He snarled. _Jeez, Harsh much? _I thought to myself with an inward sigh. Bloodfur always has a shorter temper when I'm around.

His face lit with muted fury, Bloodfur turned and muttered, "We're leaving." I opened my mouth to ask where, when he suddenly turned and ran out the gorse tunnel, at a speed I didn't know he was capable of. Heaving yet another sigh, I started after him.

When I caught up, he was sitting in the training clearing and talking to Whiterain, my mother. I came to an abrupt halt, and nearly tripped face first trying to stop. Once I (eventually) landed on earth once more, Bloodfur was looking at me with a scowl, and my mother had some kind of mask of sympathy. She was trying to hide the disappointment, but it was shown in the slightest twitch of her nose, and the dull look in her eyes.

"Maybe we should train later, when she isn't here." Fawnpaw, my mother's apprentice, looked at Whiterain with annoyance, his eyes were almost pleading.

"Yeah, because you couldn't lay a paw on me if you tried." I tried to sound fierce, because on the inside, it kind of hurt. I knew I shouldn't let it bother me, Fawnpaw was like this all the time.

"Want to bet?" He interrupted my thoughts. I wasn't in the best mood, so, what the heck?

"Oh, I would, but I probably shouldn't take advantage of your size-"

Fawnpaw suddenly leapt at me, and being as I was talking and all, I was caught way off guard. He had me pinned to the forest floor, and I wiggled like a snake out of his grasp, and before he could turn around, I leapt on top of him and clamped a paw on his neck. I was actually about to say something sarcastic, like always, when I felt Bloodfur's jaws grasp my scruff, and yank me off Fawnpaw.

After releasing me, he growled, "What are you doing, fighting a younger apprentice like that? We are supposed to be hunting, not trying to kill a cat half your size!"

I saw Fawnpaw bristle, and If I hadn't been being lectured, I would've thought it was funny.

"Why are you yelling at _me_? He attacked first!"

Bloodfur suddenly went silent. He laid the fur on his shoulders back, and closed his eyes. "I know," his voice was unexpectedly softer, but I could almost hear his anger being forcefully pushed down," but the responsible thing to do would've been to get him off and be done with it. Not fight someone from your own clan, who I might add, is only just six moons old starting yesterday."

I didn't really have much to say right then. _Fawnpaw_ attacked _me_, insulted me, and made me feel like almost every other cat makes me feel. Unwanted. Alone. And ready to kill someone. So I thought it was reasonable to knock him off his paws a few times.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, but I would've won anyway, for the record." I glanced a Fawnpaw, but he was trying his best to ignore me. To be honest, it was really embarrassing, he was acting older than I was.

"I'm sorry Whiterain, she's not usually so short tempered..." I didn't listen to the rest. I didn't care. Every day I felt more and more guilty, making every cat around me annoyed, disappointed. It's not like I'm trying to make Bloodfur or my mother feel this way. My father died when I was about 5 moons old. Everything was fine before his weak shoulder caused him to fall into the river and drown. My mother and I had never been the same since, I guess.

"Beechpaw!'

I snapped my head up and pricked my ears. Bloodfur was standing now, looking agitated. "I've called your name twice now, pay attention!" He gave me a long, stern look, before saying bye to Whiterain and Fawnpaw. He then set off into the woods, towards twoleg place. When we were out of Fawnpaw and Whiterain's hearing, he turned to me. "Why do you always act this way?"

I sat down and tilted my head, looking as innocent as possible. "What do you mean?"

"Don't bother Beechpaw, save it! I'm sick of your embarrassing behavior! At this rate, you may never attend a gathering before your a warrior."

Now I was getting angry, and I lashed my tail. "See if I care! Your the one who's embarrassing! Every day I do something else wrong and I can't seem to do a single thing right! You don't understand what it's like."

Bloodfur was almost spitting at me with rage, his fangs bared. " Oh no, you don't know what it's like having the only apprentice in the clan who refuses to listen! The apprentice who always complains about everything I tell her to do. The apprentice who can't do anything correctly!"

I guess I must've flinched, because his face fell, and he calmed down a bit, looking apologetic. " Beechpaw, I didn't mean that, it's just-"

"No. I don't care. I'll be like every other cat in this clan who is ignorant, and doesn't give a damn about me or anyone else in the world, okay? I'll be just like you!"

At that, I raced away, not paying attention as to where exactly. My chest was aching with sadness. Why couldn't anyone just understand? My mother didn't understand, my mentor didn't understand... What is it with clan cats?

What is it with me?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

My paws were still aching from the long run back to camp, and my mind whirled. Why couldn't Bloodfur just see how I felt? I thought it was obvious, with all the smart comebacks and sarcasm, but was I really that complicated? All I wanted was someone like my dad, someone to really cheer me up when in the worst of moods.

I was in the apprentices den, lying in my nest. It was hot and uncomfortable, the moss seemed full of thorns and the bracken prickly. Suddenly, my stomach rumbled, reminding me that I should probably get some fresh kill. I wanted to wait until moonhigh, simply because I really didn't want to see any cat's face, or for them to see mine, but thought the better of it, and sat up.

I didn't bother washing, I didn't care. It's not like these cat's opinions of me could get any lower. Padding out of the den, I passed Fawnpaw and Lilypaw. Our fur brushed- but, accidentally of course.

He leapt away, mortified, "Hey don't touch me mousebrain!"

Lilypaw snickered. " Getting close to her are you Fawnpaw? You know, you could've just told me."

Fawnpaw bristled, then noticed me staring,"What're you looking at?"

I had been uncharistically silent, so just for the sake of watching him bristle, I retorted, "Something small and really, really, ugly! Kind of like a toad." I tilted my head in mock wonder.

Lilypaw suddenly stepped up to my face, talking in that way where you're sort of whispering but yelling at the same time. " You don't talk to him like that or I'll-"

"You'll what?" the voice wasn't mine, but Lilypaw's mentor, Liontail.

I wasn't really at all suprised, but Lilypaw obviously was. " I-er-, well you see, I was going to-"

"You were going to go clean the leader's bedding right? Oh, but it's getting too late for that. You'll have to give you apologies to him yourself."

_Burn! He told you!_

"And Fawnpaw, Beechpaw, you two are lucky I'm not your mentor. Or you'd be confined to camp for moons."

_Awwwww, kill joy._

"Get some sleep all of you, I'm sure your mentors will wake you up especially early tomorrow after I tell them about this incident."

I could feel lasers burning the fur on the back of my neck, but ignored them, because, luckily, Liontail spoke before I did anything.

" But, if you don't kill each other, I guess I could let it slide."

_Score! _

In the morning, I woke up early. Or really, just late. It was dark out when I stepped into the warm, muggy air, and Silverpelt shone bright above, the moon half-full, making me wonder if I would go to the gathering. _Probably not,_ I thought to myself.

Usually, cats take walks to clear their heads, but I wasn't thinking about much as I left the camp in the direction of Twolegplace, or rather, ran. The fresh night air was much cooler than during the day, and cooler still as the wind pulled at my fur, tugging me left and right.

I didn't stop running until I felt sure even a WindClan warrior would've stopped by now. But also because if I hadn't, I would've collided with a dirty Twoleg fence.

I wrinkled my nose, something really smelled like crowfood over here. I took a step closer to the wooden wall, because I've actually never touched it before. Not even with my whiskers, because Bloodfur had always said it was too dangerous. _Pfft, stupid Bloodfur_. he doesn't even know what he's meowing about. I held my breath, and I really felt ready to turn around and head to camp. Not because I was scared, but I really couldn't take much more of this smell.

I turned towards the forest, ready to run all the way to camp, when suddenly-

_thump._

I swiveled my ears towards the sound, too scared to look back. _Paw steps? _My heart was thumping so fast, I was sure whatever- or really, whoever- was there, could hear me. Then, a voice called,

" Who's there?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I didn't try to look menacing. Unsheathe my claws, bare my teeth, but just turned around. Looking down at me, was a small black cat with one white paw. I assumed he was a kitty-pet, he had a purple collar, But, was that a tooth pushing through a hole in it?

"I said, who's there?"

His voice was one of a kit's, but with a menacing chill. I straitened up.

"I'm Beechpaw, a warrior of ThunderClan."

Silence.

I don't know why I didn't just stand tall and hiss, say something menacing and sarcastic. My heart was still raging, thumping louder than a twoleg monster, or even Bloodfur, when he's angry.

"What are you doing way out here? It's moonhigh."

"Really? I hadn't noticed?" There. That's more like me.

"Oh."

Silence.

What is it with this cat?

"You know, it's dangerous over here."

I really didn't have anything to say to that. But huh, what am I saying? Of course I do!

"If you're the worst Twolegplace has to throw at me, then I think I can manage."

His ice blue eyes glinted. "I doubt that."

Suddenly, he leapt down, but not the way you'd expect a cat of his size to. He jumped in a delicate, yet fierce motion, and immediately was staring at me, closer than I'd like. His eyes were again gaining my attention, they almost seemed to sparkle, the light of the moon radiating off them and, taking my breath away. I wasn't sure if it was a good or bad way though, even to this day.

Standing this close to him, it was hard to miss his eyes flicker to something behind me. I turned, but saw nothing, and when I looked back at this mysterious tom, he wasn't even there. I barely saw his tail tip flick as he crested the fence, and then was gone, just like that.

"Beechpaw?" I turned, and saw Whiterain pad out into the clearing just before the twoleg fence.

"Oh, uh, evening Whiterain!" I laughed nervously, and awkwardly.

My mother's stern gaze didn't falter as she came to a halt in front of me. "What are you doing out so late? It's nearly moonhigh."

Oh, Have we been through this before? I think we have, but that's just a hunch.

"Just taking a walk." My voice trembled a little, still shaky after my strange encounter. Whiterain turned back to the forest and gestured with her tail for me to follow. I nervously padded after her, because I seriously doubted we'd just walk in silence the whole way back to camp.

After a moment, she commented,"It's nice out tonight. The moon's almost full." _No kidding,_ I thought warily to myself.

"Yeah."

"You know, I'm sure you can make it to the gathering, if you just improve your behavior." She said that with authority, like this was nothing but a disciplinary problem, nothing personal.

I really regret coming out here. "Like that's a possibility. Bloodfur thinks I can't do anything right!"

"He doesn't really think that-"

I interrupted her, "How would you know, exactly?"

Whiterain didn't hesitate to retort, "I spoke to him today, he really didn't mean to say those things. But, I know he wouldn't have if you would just listen, and not have something to say all the time."

I thought about saying, 'because you know him_ so_ well', but before I could, she continued. "Beechpaw, listen to me, I miss your father too, but we have to accept that he's dead. You can't live your life like this, always angry, upset. He's gone now, we must move on." She swallowed, and I could see grief dulling her eyes. "I'm not telling you to forget, but to just... Just..."

I never thought she would just suddenly come to me like this, with all her feelings and thoughts. Especially not about my father. But really, we never spoke to each other about anything in particular so this was more than just surprising.

"Whiterain, I- I really don't know. I do miss him, and I don't try to act the way I do. I... I'm sorry. And I promise I'll try to do better at- at everything I do."

She looked down at me, and I think for the first time, she seemed like she actually cared about me a little. As we entered the gorse tunnel, and went to our separate dens, I remembered the black tom with a tooth in his collar, and I made a promise to myself that I would speak to him again.

Little did I know, our next meeting would come sooner than I thought.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I woke up early, in spite of my late night, and quickly washed my fur. On my way out, I nearly collided with Bloodfur. He looked startled, and meowed, "What are you doing up so early? I was just on my way to waking you up."

I shrugged, "I guess I just felt like it." On the inside, I grinned, thinking of my mother and I's earlier conversation. My fur prickled when I thought about the small black kittypet from twoleg place, he was so, so strange. I felt awkward too, as I remembered the last time Bloodfur had talked to me. Or rather, argued.

He was looking at me like I was sick, maybe even contagious, making me realize that not a lot of cats are used to seeing my not-mean side. I took a moment to look around, and felt a little comfort at the sight before me. Dawnlilly was grooming Applefur, and Sharpkit was playing with a piece of moss by the camp entrance. Our leader, Peachstar, was enjoying the warm sun, lounging on the high rock with his mate, Deertail.

Bloodfur interrupted my Zen moment, meowing, "Well, I guess we can go battle training today. We have it to ourselves." Normally, I'd be upset at the thought of moving more than it takes to go to the fresh-kill pile, but, having it to ourselves _did_ sound pretty nice.

We ran out the tunnel, and Bloodfur must have thought I really _was_ contagious, because he seemed to be running just to get away from me. (If that was too metaphorical for you, he was running really fast.) We reached the training hollow at light speed, and I was coming to a rough stop when Bloodfur suddenly turned around and leapt at me.

Instinctively, I ducked under his belly, and 360'd to attack from behind. But Bloodfur reacted quickly and swiped a paw towards me, catching my head and pushing me sideways. I lost my footing, and fell onto the sandy forest floor, but before I could stand, Bloodfur put his paws on my shoulders. His greater weight was almost crushing, and I went limp. He backed away, and said,"Well, your reaction time needs work, but-"

I really caught Bloodfur off guard, his eyes seemed to bulge out of his head when I tackled him to the ground. He suddenly shifted from under my belly, and we were back to back for a moment. I "uffffed" as he rolled over me, then sighed in relief as he stood up. "Done this time?"

I nodded.

"All right, as I was saying, we need to work on your reaction time. The fake at the end was clever, you can use that in battle, but no more than once of course " He looked at me a bit more seriously, then mewed, " Let's have at it some more, but first, try this move."

He crouched down, as if facing an enemy, then leapt in the air, dodged to the side, and rolled, flicking out a paw. I imagined his claws ripping through fur, and winced. That move looked powerful.

Bloodfur gestured that it was my turn, and I was a little excited. I could really make him regret what he said about me not being able to do anything right. So, I crouched down, and thought for a moment, picturing myself in the air, completing the move. Then, I ran forward, and leapt into the air. It took me a second, but I realized I hadn't turned soon enough, and I hit the ground with a heavy thud.

Bloodfur shook his head, "Try again."

Determined, I ran and leapt, then twisted, and flicked out my paw, just like I was shown. I landed on all four feet this time, and beamed at Bloodfur. He seemed a little uncomfortable, and said, "Just when did you get so eager to do things correctly?"

For the second time today, I shrugged. I definitely wasn't going to tell him my talk with my mother last night.

The rest of training we practiced like that, and I was feeling like life had just gotten a whole lot easier. But without something rude to say every other second, everything seemed a little strange.

Bloodfur looked kind of relieved, and I didn't blame him. He mewed, "Let's be getting back then, I think we deserve some fresh kill."

By the time we arrived back in camp, the sun was beginning to set, and cats were disappearing into their dens for the night. Bloodfur and I went our separate ways, and I quickly picked a mouse from the fresh kill pile. Last night I had had so much on my mind I forgot to eat at all. The gaping hole in my stomach faded when I finished, and I sat in the last few rays of the sun I could get.

I waited for a minute after the other apprentices went to the den. I wanted them to be asleep so I wouldn't hear any kind of crap about my life's small improvement. But just before I fell asleep, I remembered the small black tom from Twolegplace again, and I realized I had forgotten to look for him again.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Today, I asked Bloodfur if I could go hunting for a mouse or two, but was accompanied by Fawnpaw and Lilypaw. Whiterain had insisted we try to get along, and that we learn to work hard, together. Okey-dokey then.

Evidently, I'm watching Fawnpaw climb a tree.

Just after we ran out the gorse tunnel, with not-so-happy looks on our faces, Lilypaw had dared me to try to climb higher than her or Fawnpaw, and of course, I said yes. Or really, "I guess you guys never learn, I'll have to show you up again, huh?"

So, here we are. Fawnpaw insisted he go first, and I let him. Right now, he's a little ways up there, steadily getting higher and higher.

"C'mon Fawnpaw!" I hissed at him from below, I couldn't see his expression from here, but I heard him take in an angry breath. "You can do better than that!"

He was now dangerously high, and I had begun to worry. Not for his sake, but if he falls and gets hurt, it's Lilypaw and I's fault.

"Hey, uh, Fawnpaw, you can come down now," I tried, but he didn't listen. "it's almost time for us to be heading back."

Lilypaw snickered, "Shut up Beechpaw, you're just worried you'll have to climb that high."

"I am not-"

Suddenly, I heard a snap, then several snaps. Lilypaw was staring behind me, her eyes wide. The world seemed in slow motion when I realized;

Fawnpaw was falling.

"Fawnpaw no!" Before I looked, I heard a thud- no, it was a crack. A crack of bone. Fawnpaw's bone. I turned to Lilypaw, and mewed, "Lilypaw, go get help. Tell Barksong that Fawnpaw fell from the tree and probably broke something."

She listened without saying anything, and ran in the direction of camp, her face plastered with worry and determination. I slowly looked at Fawnpaw's body, lying limp on the forest floor. I walked over and layed down next to him stiffly. His eyes were open when I came over, and he looked at me.

"Beechpaw?"

I really felt bad now, his voice was so innocent and young and, even a little confused.

"Yeah?"

"What happened? I can't feel my leg."

My heart seemed to drown in some feeling that may have been: I'm sorry but all I can think about is how much trouble I'll be in after this, and I'm totally going to hate myself for this the rest of my life after this nightmare is over, if it ever ends, that is.

"It'll be ok Fawnpaw, you're fine."

From behind me, I heard the paw steps of many cats, and their fear-scent was strong.

I didn't leave Fawnpaw's side until Barksong came over to inspect him, and instructed some warriors to take him back to camp. I didn't want to ask if he would be all right, or what the extent of his injuries were, so instead, I waited outside the medicine den with the cats grouping there.

After a while, Barksong and Peachstar walked out, their faces grave. Our leader leapt up to the Highrock and called, "Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather beneath the Highrock for a clan meeting."

A few cats came out of their dens, eager to hear Fawnpaw's condition. Peachstar began, "I'm sure you're all aware of what's happened today, but for those of you who aren't, Fawnpaw fell climbing a tree today, and his rear right leg is broken."

Hollowroot, Fawnpaw's mother, gasped and rushed into the medicine den, she hadn't been here for Fawnpaw's arrival, and was out hunting just before.

Peachstar continued, "Barksong has said he cannot have any visitors until tomorrow, he must rest." He leapt off the Highrock, and to make me feel more miserable, he headed in Bloodfur's direction, then in mine.

When he reached me, he sighed, then said, "I have listened to Lilypaw's side of the story, I'd like to hear yours now, Beechpaw. Be honest, you aren't in trouble."

Who would've though the lie of the century would've come from my clan leader?


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

My body still ridged with shock, I ran through the forest's trees and underbrush blindly, not even flinching when I felt an unexpected pain in my paw. I hardly even felt the thorn I stepped on or the blood racing and dripping off my claws, because my mind whirled and spun.

Where exactly are we, you ask?

Well, I'd rather not tell you all the details, as they were a little predictable, but I will tell you this: My clan leader, mentor, mother, and pretty much the whole clan, hate my guts. I told Peachstar what I did, and was honest,(I had hoped for some brownie points there, but got none. So much for 'honesty is the best policy'.) but he was pretty trusting in Lilypaw. She had lied to him about everything. _Everything._

I know that's not reliable information for everyone to just hate me, but like I said, Lilypaw can be _very _deceiving and manipulative. And I refuse to tell how everything had went down, in front of all my clan mates. Luckily though, Fawnpaw had been asleep during the whole incident, and hadn't been there to hate me too. At least not at the moment, I'm sure Lilypaw will tell him all about it later.

So, now that we're up to date, I'm currently rushing away from camp, even faster than when I had run from Bloodfur before. Which is saying something. And I obviously don't run for just any other reason, and really, the only reason I have run lately, is because of my crazy feelings. I can't seem to handle them.

My heart was pounding by the time I reached the Twoleg Place fence. A thought crossed my mind, and I knew exactly who I wanted to see. But, not really, I never got his name. All I knew was that he would probably stand out. His fur was blacker than Silverpelt, and his eyes glinted like the stars among it. Of course, he had a purple collar with a tooth pushing through the side, and I thought that was something noticeable.

I didn't even care to think about why I was doing this, just stared digging my claws into the hard wood of the fence, and started climbing. I was reminded faintly of Fawnpaw, and shuddered. But, I was determined to leave everything about my life so far, behind. I was starting fresh. A clean slate.

Once over, I looked at what I had never seen before. I assumed the big block thing, made out of what looked like red rocks, was a Twoleg nest. It was kind of intimidating, the size was taller than, well, anything I could relate to. Another fence branched off and formed a corner, and in that corner was a square green thing, with a black top, that smelled terribly. My overwhelming rage and sadness had masked the smell before.

There was no hesitation as I leapt on top of it, then, jumped down to the hard, unnatural floor. It was almost like waking up in a dream, the textures felt strange under paw.

But, I didn't get any time at all to wonder, because suddenly, I felt a cat's paws -sheathed- and I was pushed over to the dusty, cracked ground. I opened my eyes and coughed, then tried to straighten myself up against the Twoleg fenced I had slid into. I didn't have a moment to view my attacker, when I felt it's paws push against my neck, almost hard enough to kill me before I suffocated.

I didn't try to have any great warrior comebacks, I didn't care if I died here or not. But, I wanted to see my killer before I went.

And-surprise! It was the tom from Twoleg place!


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

I opened my eyes, and looked around. My memory came back when I realized I wasn't in the apprentices den, or warm, or safe. I didn't panic just observed what was around me with an icy, unexpected calm.

My eyes adjusted to the surrounding darkness, and I saw I was in a tall, circular, black thing. It looked like a monster's round paw, only I was in the center instead, and it was kind of, well, dead. Cautiously, I stood to see over top of the strange...thing, and squinted. Behind me, was the green box from before, filled with Twoleg trash and Starclan knows what.

Suddenly, I saw a dark movement from atop the box thing, and I gaped. Quickly though, I shut it, and regained my composure. He leapt down and looked at me, his eyes seemed to almost glow in the darkness, and he meowed suddenly, "You shouldn't come over here without reason. I've told you before, it's dangerous for a clan cat in these parts."

Shocked, I stuttered, "A-and who are you to care about a clan cat?"

He went silent, and sat down. He turned his brilliant gaze to the stars and didn't answer me. I looked up too, and for a moment I wondered if StarClan was angry with me. Fawnpaw's leg was broken, and he may never use it again, all because of me.

I took a deep breath, and sighed. My life as a clan cat hadn't disapeared from my memory as soon as I had hoped.

Crashing my train of thought, he meowed, "I didn't know you were a clan cat, at least not before. I was trying to sleep when you loudly approached on the other side of this fence," He gestured with his tail to the big wooden thing I had climbed to get here."making me assume you were no threat- otherwise, you probably would've tried a little harder for stealth.

"But, this all causes me to wonder, what are you doing here? Did your curiosity send you over?"

'If you mean why am I _still_ here, it's because you tried to kill me. I woke up afterwards here and was suddenly talking to a mysterious cat who asks me a bunch of questions."

He looked at me with some sort of expression I couldn't make out, but seemed to be a mash of 'What?' and 'okayyyyyy...'. Feeling awkward, I cleared my throat and slowly jumped into a story.

"Well, in a clan, assuming you don't already know, cats have ranks. Ranks that show skill and age. We have a leader, a deputy, warriors and apprentices, and kits. I'm an apprentice of ThunderClan, one of four in the forest. We all live under our ancestors, called Starclan- You can see them now, in Silverpelt. Each star is a noble warrior spirit watching and protecting us with knowledge and experience of the past."

How's that for poetry?

I continued, "When I was younger, my father died. He had a weak shoulder since he was younger, and he drowned in the river. I don't remember much about him, just the happiness I'd feel when he came in the nursery." I had no idea what I was doing. Hopefully, you're thinking the same thing, and you know this isn't like me. Especially not with a stranger.

I thought I saw the tom's whiskers twitch, but he was still looking up at the stars, away from me, so I couldn't tell.

"Since his death, I guess I just haven't been the nicest cat. My clan mates really didn't seem to like me anymore, I was just too short-tempered."

It was embarrassing really. Talking about myself, like this,_ to a stranger_. "Just as I though I was getting happier, and doing things right for once, I hurt another apprentice by accident. My clan really wouldn't believe me, Lilypaw had lied, right to their faces, and they ate it up like the fools they all were-even my own mother!"

My rage was building, and my heart sped like a monster down the thunderpath. "Why would she do that to me? I don't understand why she hates me so much, or any of them at all? What did I do wrong?"

I stopped because I couldn't continue, and I realized that I had been standing. I collapsed to the dirty, unnatural ground, and really, actually broke down for the first time. Ever. (Again I'll say it: In front of a _stranger_.)

The little black cat with one white paw and a purple collar with a tooth, turned around and climbed onto a box that I hadn't noticed until now. He used it to leap onto the green box, and before he disappeared, I asked, "Wait, I never got your name!"

He hesitated, so I added, "You owe me, I told you mine."

His eyes, those amazing, beautifully stunning eyes, looked into mine, and he mewed, "My name is Scourge."

Then, he jumped to the other side of the green box, and vanished.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

This morning came earlier than I expected, I guess last night I was up later than I thought with that cat- no, wait, his name was Scourge. The cat that almost killed me, and then had a personal conversation with me, and then let me sleep in a smelly round thing next to a big, smelly green box.

My life is pretty great, huh?

I sat up and stretched, then washed my fur, stroking dirt and grit from the stone floor of Twolegplace. Suddenly, my belly rumbled, and I smelled fresh-kill. My nose searched for the mouse I had just started drooling over, and it found it before my eyes did. I dug into the brown fur, trying to savor each bite like my life depended on it. (Which, for all I know, it could have.)

I took a moment to look around, and my stomach lurched as I saw Scourge sitting above me on the old, ugly brown fence. His gaze met mine, and I flinched. For all I knew, his eyes could've been shooting daggers at me. Which is what it felt like.

Surprising me, he meowed, "Good-morning, I see you've eaten."

I almost gagged, the fresh kill had been left out for me, by _him. _"Th-thanks, it was delicious."

He didn't reply, but instead jumped down to the ground. He walked towards where I sat, but he wasn't looking at me. Instead, as I turned around I noticed, he was walking towards two cats, a tom and a she-cat. I did a double take, the tom had scars across his black and white pelt, and the she-cat was missing a patch of red-brown pelt on her back. Both of their eyes were dull and tired.

I couldn't hear from here, but I caught bits and pieces of their conversation. Suddenly though, Scourge whipped around and meowed, "Tell them I'll be there in a moment."

He walked quickly in my direction, and I saw the tom and she-cat excahange nervous glances, then turn and disapear around the corner. Scourge's eyes were lowered in thought, and I saw a little uncertainty. Maybe even fear.

Without speaking to me, he leapt onto the green box, and over the fence. I listened as his pawsteps faded, and followed him. My claws slipped when I landed on the slick black surface, and I fought to get a grip. Once I righted myself, I peeked over the edge of the fence, and saw another open area, with Twoleg trash littered around the edges of the tall wooded boards. Like the side I'm currently "staying" in, there was a brick Twoleg nest, somewhat crumbled and broken.

I sniffed the air, and was relieved to smell no Twoleg scent, just Scourge's. I half-fell, half-jumped over the edge, and quickly crossed to the other fence, trying to stick to the shadows. My fear scent was pretty strong, I had never been here before.

I eventually made it to the other side, and climbed up yet another fence, and was halfway up when I heard voices. They were coming from the other side.

I listened, and I definitely heard some cat meow, "You think you can just come here and take food, without my say-so?"

"Get over there and get me something to eat! Maybe then I'll decide what to do with you."

I let go of the fence and sat down, pricking my ears. Suddenly, another cat I hadn't known was there meowed, "Leave her alone, and get out of here."

I listened as the cat walked to Scourge. It had to be Scourge, I could recognize that voice anywhere now. The stranger had other cats behind him, I heard their paw steps and laughter before. Desperate now, I searched the bottom of the fence for a hole, and luckily, I did. Quickly, I ran the few feet to it, and looked through. It was so mall I could hardly tell, but the stranger was a light brown tabby tom, and his followers were two toms also. One was white, and the other was an ugly, matted mess of brown fur.

"Trouble boss?" The smallest of the three, the brown one, was looking as menacing as Scourge on the first night I had met him.

"Want us to take care of it?" The white cat was grinning now.

"No no," Their leader meowed. "Trouble would be bigger. We're looking at a nuisance."

Scourge had seemed to loose his cool now, and his face was twisted with uncertainty. He cast a look over his shoulder, and I noticed a few cats watching with worried expressions on their faces. I felt a little like they did now, my own uncertainty was starting to overcome me. But before I could leap the fence and attack some cat, the tall, brown tabby meowed, "You want to talk runt? If I speak, it'll only be with the leader of this ramshackle lot."

Scourge's eyes narrowed slightly, "Then speak to me."

There was a silence, then, "Speak to you-?" The three cats started laughing suddenly, their eyes bulging with the stress of forcing their chests so hard. They recovered after a moment, and the white cat approached Scourge, who looked terribly pissed off.

"Tell you what kittypet, we're just passing through...but while I'm here, you can be my personal servant." He lifted a paw and unsheathed his claws, which were recently sharpened. " Go fetch me some water. _Now_."

The cats started laughing again. Scourge's cat's were beginning to gather as the event continued to escalate. Scourge suddenly growled and flashed a paw at the white tom's throat, and ripped it through his flesh. Blood spilled and the laughter stopped abruptly. The white cat stood there for a moment, realizing he was about to die, then collapsed to the cold floor of Twolegplace.

I hadn't had time to gasp, my heart had lurched so hard, I probably couldn't breath if I tried. But Scourge just looked right over the body at the two remaining toms. The cats of twoleg place had begun to swell behind him, and now, they closed ranks behind him, looking uncertain, but threatening.

The tabby's face had been morphed in horror, but he looked at Scourge now with a deep hatred. "Let's get out of here, I've had my fill of this place."

They jumped the other fence that stretched away from the one I was hiding behind, and into the forest. I was still ridged with shock, my backed raised and fur bristling. I turned tail and fled back to where I had been just before, and quickly feigned sleep in my "nest".

That afternoon, I stayed in my nest and feigned sleep until Silverpelt had shown. Scourge still hadn't come back, and I was grateful. Maybe I could sleep.

But that was a terrible lie, because I had nightmares of Scourge's claws tearing through my flesh, ripping me apart, murdering me.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I woke up late in the night, the stars still shone when I opened my eyes. My mind was still whirring, and I hadn't slept much at all.

Giving up, I stood and washed my fur. I didn't bother to wonder why I had excactly, I still had images of the white cat dead on the stone floor of Twolegplace, and Scourge grinning down at his lifeless body. I shivered, and started walking down the alleyway I had seen Scourge disapear down a few times.

His scent ws still fresh, and I was suddenly jolted with fear as I heard a cat's paw steps. Too late, I realized they were Scourge's. He looked tired and bored when he appraoched me.

Those strangely beautiful blue eyes lit with anger when he saw me, and he meowed, "What are you doing out here? You can't go out there, it's dangerous. As I've told you several times."

I felt numb when I said, "But you can go and kill cats whenever you feel like it?"

His eyes widened. "You saw that?"

I nodded and dropped my gaze to the floor. His eyes narrowed in thought for a moment, then he mewed, "Follow me."

I didn't hesitate to follow him into a clearing, he seemed to be in charge here. I sniffed the air instinctivley, and realized we were walking accross a Thunderpath. We reached the other side quickly, before I could embarrass myself and run accross in utter fear.

One thought crashed into another when I saw several other cats walking near us, looking weary and on guard. A few gave me strange looks, while others swerved entirley out of their path to avoid me.

Or just Scourge.

He looked wary and nervous, I could see it in his eyes, his beautifuly icy cold eyes. They seemed to tell everything he was feeling, always. Even when he held his head high, and glared when any cat came near, I could just look and know what he was feeling. I felt kind of special, like I was the only cat who may ever know that this cat wasn't just some bloodthirsty killer.

We walked past another alley way, like the one I'm staying in, but smaller. Scourge stopped and pointed with his tail, indicating I should look.

What I saw at first didn't suprise me, two cats seemed to be talking together, a single peice of fresh kill was dropped at the other cat's paws. I looked to Scourge, curious as to why he was showing me this, but his gaze remained on the two strangers.

I looked again, and focused, tying to see what he saw. This time, I noticed the cat with the mouse seemed to be scared, his expression worried and his fur bushed up. He was a scrawny little tabby, and his companion was a huge light brown tom.

Suddenly, so suddenly even I flinched, the larger cat attacked the smaller one. His claws slashed everywhere at once, but the tom had already slipped away, and his fur brushed mine as he sped past, his breath coming in gasps.

I turned my gaze to Scourge, and asked, "Why didn't you help him, he could've been killed!"

Scourge shook his head, "That cat was better off with a few scratches. Did you see how quickly he ran away? That tom didn't leave any terribly bad wounds."

"So?"

"So," He looked at me this time, his voice raised ever-so-slightly in agitation, "if we had helped him, he would've made become an enemy. That cat over there,"

He pointed his tail at the lighter-brown tom, "would keep coming back for revenge. Not just on that scrawny cat who he stole fresh kill from, but us, too."

I thought for a moment, and concluded that he was right. What's a few scratches compared to lives? My heart was still fluttering in my chest, though, I wanted to retreat to the safety of the alleyway I was currently calling home. But I wouldn't have shown Scourge that.

He turned to leave, but another surprise came running around the corner. A well-fed she-cat accidentally crashed into him, her eyes wide and scared. I leapt back in disbelief when yet another cat bowled the two over. I almost laughed, Scourge's eyes seemed to bulge out of his head with all this weight sitting on his chest.

But I didn't have much time to, because once the kitty-pet righted herself, she hid behind me. I could feel he whiskers tremble as she shuddered in fear, and hear her breaths shallow and weak. I wondered for a moment how long she had been running.

Scourge sat up and glowered at the tom, who was glowering at the kitty-pet, who was hiding her eyes with her paws. I looked over the tom, who's flea ridden fur smelled of crow food, and was a cream color. The cat cowering behind me had a white pelt and a pink color, pink like I've seen before in sunrises.

She hissed under her breath and leapt from behind me to run again, but Scourge was suddenly in front of her, blocking any escape.

He was furious, probably from embarrassment, and he meowed, " What exactly are you doing? Your a kittypet, you don't belong here."

His warning went straight over here head, and she sat up and mewed, "I was just looking for a drink, behind my housefolk's nest, when his cat came out of nowhere and attacked me. So I ran here, and I was just about to _die of exhaustion, _when you came along. So, are you going to tell him to go away? Beat him up? Something?"

Her words were met with silence as Scourge's glare went back and forth. The tom was stiff and scared, I could smell his fear. I had to give him credit though, he stood tall and kept his tail high above the ground.

Scourge bent his head closer to the kitty pet's ear, and whispered something inaudible. After a moment, she nodded, and flashed him a grateful glance before running away, until she was no longer in sight.

The stranger's jaw dropped, and he hissed, "W-what? You let her get away! She was trespassing, you should've killed her!"


	10. Chapter 10

_**Sorry this chapter took so long! I've been busy with sports and school and NO INTERNET! **_

Chapter 10

Scourge's eyes flashed at the acusation, but he didn't raise his voice to meow, "I know."

Before he could shut his mouth, I watched the tabby meow, "Why?"

His sudden outburst was met with gasps. Some cats I hadn't noticed suddenly gathered around us, four or five of them looking excited or scared.

Scourge seemed to have more to say, but he just turned his head and started in the direction of where we stayed. Or at least_ I_ stayed, because he's always disappearing to who-knows-where.

I wish I knew more about him.

Inturrupting my thoughts, Scourge called, "Beechpaw, come on. We're leaving."

Confused and worried at the thought of him and I being alone together, I walked after him stiffly and quietly. I listened as the cats started buzzing with sudden chatter, and sighed in relief when their voices faded away. _What was with them anyway?_

When we got back, Scourge didn't look at me as he said "I'll fetch us some fresh-kill."

I felt an unexpected rush of something at the word _us_. A chill ran along my spine as I sat down in our little alleyway,

He came back after a while with two mice hanging from his jaws by their tails, but the jagged outline of ribs showed they wouldn't be very appetizing. Even so, I ate without complaint, my mind was still trying to figure out what he might've said to that kittypet.

"Scourge,..." I tried to break the awkward silence.

He didn't answer, just kept eating. What a jerk.

"What happened back there?"

"...With that kitty pet?"

"...Yeah."

Silence.

He stepped away from his fresh kill and sat up and gave his ears a little wash. His eyes were closed, so I had no idea what he was thinking.

"I used to be a house cat- or a kittypet, when I was younger."

_Well that was unexpected._

"I lived with my brother and sister- Ruby and Socks. They never seemed to like me. Maybe because I didn't play right, or was the smallest, or was favored by my mother. I don't know why they hated me so damn much... But one day, these new twolegs and their kits came. They played with Ruby and Socks, but ignored me like I wasn't even there. Then... Then they..."

He broke off for a moment, looking at the stars.

"Ruby told me that they were going to pick two of us, and whoever wasn't wanted, got thrown in the river."

_Jeez._

"So I left my home, my momma, and my warm soft bed behind. I ventured into the forest and away from home. Suddenly though, I was attacked by clan cats- momma had told me stories about them. There were three of them- two 'warriors', and one 'apprentice.' I was so scared I didn't hear waht they said. But the youngest attacked me and left some nasty scars. Ones that would never heal."

Now I felt different, he and I really were the same. Hated by everyone, left out, and all our efforts to fit in were wasted. Nobody cared about us. Nobody wanted to. If we stood together and juggled on one leg, not one cat would bat an eye.

We didn't matter.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

So, sorry. For all the dramatics, I mean. And, the whole thing about us not being cared about? I'm over it. Seriously.

Okay, not really. I meant what I said, but I'm sitting here bored as ever, in this stinky, empty round Twoleg thing, thinking about how I really thought too hard about all that. You'll see why, but let's back up a little.

To last night.

* * *

><p>"I-I'm sorry Scourge..."<p>

When I said that, Scourge looked at me like I'd grown a second head. Nervous, I meowed, "What?"

His gaze quickly darted to the floor. "Nothing."

"Well we aren't that different. I told you, like- my life story the first time we met."

He nodded, took a deep breath, and sighed. Then out of nowhere, he asked, "What's your biggest fear?"

"My biggest fear?"

I took a second to think for a moment, then replied, "That no one will ever care enough to get close to me. I- I mean that in a... a personal way."

If a cat could've blushed, I would have.

"B-but thats not all I mean, I mean- I don't know. I just- want to be cared for and to not screw up. I want to be perfect for someone without trying so hard."

We had one of our famous awkward silences.

He stood up and meowed, "Would it be strange to tell you you already are?"

_What?_

He looked me dead in the eye, waiting for me to say something. His icy eyes seemed to burn into my soul- but we all know that isn't out of the ordinary.

After forever and a day, he sighed and shut his eyes. Then he looked to me again, and meowed seriously, "You don't get it do you?"

I felt like was on the defensive now, "No, what?"

"Beechpaw, I love you. I really do"

_Deep breath_.

"Ever since I saw you by the fence, I couldn't get you off my mind. I- I just don't know. You're all I think about, you're all I care about. I can't believe you feel as though no one cares about you."

I really, honestly couldn't say anything to that. I mean, what would _you_ do? So, instead of saying something, I leaned into his shoulder and took a deep breath. His scent was laced with the fresh kill we'd eaten, but below it was a musky, strong smell. I knew I could trust him with my life.

* * *

><p>So there you have it, my relationship with a blood thirsty killer!<p>

Oh, but don't worry- it doesn't end there.


	12. Chapter 12

Chaper 12

Well, with the cliffhanger I recently gave you, I'm sure you're wondering what happens next.

"We'd better get some sleep. I'm really tired after- um, er, everything."

Scourge looked uncomfortable, then meowed, "Okay."

I just realized what I said, and felt a wave of embarrassment wash over me. Are we supposed to, well, you know, lay down together? Or, just- ugh. I'm not gonna discuss this. "Scourge I'm gonna go... do something. I'll be right back, kay? Bye."

And at that, I padded off around the corner of the two-leg nest and ran to a puddle where I would go for a drink. I sat down and started beating myself up. Why did I have to say that? _Oh, I'm tired, let's go to bed right after you just admitted that you love me. When I only met you a few moons ago. And sleep. Together. At night. In a dirty old two-leg peice of trash. Stupid, stupid, stupid!_

I know I've said it before, but StarClan I hate myself! I mean, nobody ever seemed to love me, nevermind like me. So, how would I know how to love someone?

After I bathed in self-pity and washed a bit of embarrasment out of my fur, I got the guts to go back. By the time I had, the moon was high in a clear sky, highlighting every star.

And Scourge.

He was laying down- asleep- in the tire. I knew the choice I had to make, because Scourge had set it up to be this way on purpose. Obviously.

Either I do love him or I don't. By that I mean, he's waiting on me to sleep next to him, making us, umm, together. Or I don't, and well, you get it.

The new thought of Scourge actually loving me brought up what I had always felt around him. When I looked into his eyes, when he was near. It was always there, but I just pushed it away and replaced it with mistrust. He killed a cat and was very, very scary sometimes, sure. But I had finnally accepted it.

I loved Scourge.


End file.
